me in high school: omg cant wait for college
me in college: omg cant wait for the 10 years between retirement and the cold embrace of the grave
KPOP male rappers: with hella deep voices (part 1)
Okay, so you’re probably going, “Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?” But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.
Johansson was so determined to avoid looking like a movie star pretending to be a zookeeper running on empty and fueled only by her devotion to her motley assortment of big cats, zebras, and kangaroos that she refused to wear makeup for the film. A big deal for a female movie star, but it works, helping to anchor her performance in the details of actual manual labor—shoveling shit, feeding slabs of red meat to the lion and tigers—that we don’t see much of in American movies. (x)
JESUS CHRIST ZACK.
Cosmo Sex Tip #4565345
If your partner asks you to be louder during sex, seductively say, “GUH-HYUK” in the voice of Goofy, as loud as you can.
A seahorse admiring his own reflection from a divers watch.
or maybe he’s checking the fucking time. seahorses got places to go too y’know
The seahorse is one of the slowest fish in the ocean, the smallest able to move themselves at about 6 feet per hour. So if that seahorse has someplace to be I hope they’ve left a lot of time to get there.
"There is no way I am going to be able to pick the kids up from soccer practice now…"